


Regrets

by Melime



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24824959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime
Summary: Hermann couldn't stop thinking about all the opportunities he had to realize that something was wrong.
Relationships: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [Arrependimentos](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24824962) by [Melime GreenLeaf (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime%20GreenLeaf)



> Written for DictionaryWrites's Stocking, Fandom Stocking 2018.

Hermann couldn't stop thinking about all the opportunities he had to realize that something was wrong.

Years, for literal years Newt's mind was slowly taken away, and the person closest to him was too taken by jealousy and guilt and anxiety to have noticed anything.

Newt had first told him about Alice not that long after what they thought was the final victory, a big smile on his face as he told Hermann he was seeing this great girl, Hermann had to meet her, she was just so amazing... Hermann remembered feeling his stomach twitch, trying not to think about that time one of their arguments turned so heated that Newt pushed him against the wall and Hermann closed his eyes waiting for a punch only to have Newt's lips on his, trying not to think about how many times furious arguments turned to furious sex and how they kept provoking each other, starting fights on meaningless issues just so they would have an excuse to touch.

Hermann had feared that now that once the threat was over, so would be whatever there was between them. He just never thought it would be so fast.

Now, he regretted he didn't take Newt's offer back then, when perhaps his mind wouldn't have been so far gone. Instead, he had just cursed Alice's name and pushed Newt away.

They saw each other many times during the years, not often, but just enough to keep Newt always on his mind. Naively, Hermann always hoped that they could get back together. He always got disappointed.

They would meet, Newt would complain about being too busy, always too busy, he would try to get Hermann to agree to visit his home and meet Alice, Hermann would shut him down, and if the meeting lasted long enough, they would end up shouting with each other then fucking at the lab, a closet, a conference room, wherever it was convenient. Then Hermann would hate himself and refuse to get anywhere near Newt for months.

Now, he wondered what would have happened if just once he had taken Newt's offer.

With hindsight it was easy to see that Newt had been asking for help all along, even when the Precursors plan was about to launch. Every time that he asked Hermann to come over, it would be because he wanted Alice to be found, he wanted to be taken away from her, even if he didn't have the strength to do that himself.

He was asking for Hermann's help, and Hermann ignored him. After everything they had been through, after everything that existed between them, Hermann ignored him.

And now perhaps it was too late.

He looked with disgust at how he helped the Precursors, just because he wanted to be working with Newt again. He was so blinded by his own feelings that he couldn't see what was right in front of him.

Then, he still thought he would get Newt back.

Hermann felt nearly paralyzed by his guilt, but he wouldn't let that stop him again. Newt had to be there, he had to still be there somewhere, and Hermann would find him, he had to find him.

Hermann would make things right, he would bring Newt back. He owed him that much.


End file.
